Emotional intelligence defines EQ, which stands for emotional quotient, is a fairly new concept in the scientific community, yet it has become one of the most controversial topics. For thousands of years, people have thought that IQ is destiny, but it has turned out to be not nearly as much as we thought. Daniel Goleman, a psychology professor at Harvard, wrote a ground-breaking book about the EQ factor. His book argues that our view of human intelligence is far too narrow, ignoring a crucial range of abilities that matter immensely in terms of how well we do in life. To be emotionally intelligent relies on many factors, which include knowing one?s feelings and using them to make life decisions they can live with.
1. Being able to manage one?s emotional life without being hijacked by it—not being paralyzed by depression or worry, or swept away by anger.
2. Persisting in the face of setbacks and channeling one?s impulses in order to pursue their goals.
3. Empathy—reading other people?s emotions without their having to tell you what they are feeling.
4. Handling feelings in relationships with skill and harmony—being able to articulate the unspoken pulse of a group, for example.
Self-esteem, like optimism, is essential in order to maintain a healthy emotional life. People who have confidence in themselves, their ideas and views, and what they are all about tend to be more emotionally stable than people who lack self-confidence. Being self-confident gives people the impression that you are reliable and trustworthy. Studies have showed that children who lack self-esteem are more likely to have emotional problems such as depression, violent fits and suicidal tendencies. People who have high self-esteem are less likely to be affected by any negative comments; they know that it?s what they think of themselves that counts.
Teaching a child to have self-esteem is very important. Children?s expectations about their abilities begin at home. If parents show confidence in children?s behaviors and judgments, children are more likely to set a higher standard for themselves, in their social and personal life. Developing a child?s self-esteem through constant praise and reinforcement, as advocated for many years, may actually do more harm than good. Helping a child feel good about themselves works only if those feelings are attached to specific accomplishments.
The excitement over the concept of emotional intelligence begins with its applications for raising and educating children, but extends to its importance in the work place and virtually all human relationships. Studies show that the same EQ skills that result in your child being perceived as an enthusiastic learner by his/her teacher, or being liked by his/her friends on the playground, will also help him/her twenty years from now in his/her job or marriage. In many studies, adults do not appear to be that different from the children they once were. The extent to which EQ skills can affect the workplace is still surprising. A study found out why scientists were performing poorly at their jobs in spite of intellectual and academic intelligence equal to their high-achieving colleagues. The researchers studied the E-mail patterns of all the scientists and found that the employees who were disliked because of poor emotional and social skills were being left out by their colleagues, much the same way as the nerd was left out of games on the playground. EQ is as important as IQ when it comes to success.