雅思写作:十大常见错误透析(下)

所属专题:雅思写作  来源:    要点:雅思写作错误解析  
编辑点评: 写作中很多同学经常犯相同的错误,也有一些错误是很多同学都会犯的,那么雅思写作中有哪些常见的错误呢?本文为各位同学盘点并分析这些错误根源,指导同学们有效备考。

例二:

Writing task 2

Smoking tobacco should be made illegal like other dangerous drugs. Agree or disagree?

In the world today where stresses and tensions are at high degree, some people appeal to smoke cigarettes. They think that by means of cigar they can relax themselves, while it is obviously shown how harmful tobacco smoking is and it is clear why it should be banned in public. Smoking, at a glance, has many noxious effects on body. Some harmful aspects are proved and shown on body, on economy, and on the air.

Taking body into account, tobacco smoking has so many hazardous effects. W.H.O reports that 85 per cent of lung cancers are caused by cigarette smoking .On the other hand, recent research studies show that low birth weight is more common among the children of smoker mothers. Another effect of tobacco on the body is its risk for heart diseases. Smoking is the major cause of heart attacks. These examples simply show the perils of tobacco smoking to the body.

Furthermore, cigarette trading these days has become a lucrative business around the world, especially within developed countries. This subject leads to extraction of millions of dollars from developing countries in order to import cigars. This currency that is spent on smoking perilous substances, can be specified for education, health, and infrastructures. In addition, smoking affects the economy of families. The money that can be used for promotion of life is used for decreasing life span.

From the air point of view, smoking cigarettes has dramatic effects on air. In rapidly increasing air pollution of metropolitan areas, smoking makes the situation even worse. Scientists report that one of the major pollutants in big cities is cigarette smoke. Furthermore, every day we see a lot of fags on the streets or in the nature that make their scenes indecent.

No wonder, tobacco smoking is risky from several points of view and making it illegal may help to decline its adverse effects. People should find better ways to relax themselves, like exercise or reading.

例三:

Task 2: Shopping has become a favorite pastime among young people. Why do you think it is like that, and do you think they must be encouraged to do other things rather than shopping?

Shopping is going to be a habit or a bad attitude among our new generation for some reasons such as careless parents, bombardment by advertisements and bad behavior of consumption societies. Society should exercise more control over the young people’s interests and requirements.

Not surprisingly, we have been faced with the fact that our new generation is crazy about shopping. Firstly, they are easily influenced by advertising around them. Whenever we switch on our TV we will be bombarded with lots of TV commercials ; whenever we surface the Internet, we come across lots of advertisements. Also, on the other media we face lots of publicity; newspapers, magazines and radio or billboards are the best examples. All the time we unwished confront by these new ads. Young people will be easily affected, and would like to try the new material, feel the new taste and have new experience. They easily reply to advertising because it is part of their nature, and it is normal.

In addition, there are parents who are careless about their children’s behavior. Some parents have to work from day to night; they just pay for children and give them pocket money as much as they need. Furthermore; we live in a society which forces people to consume different new things and materials, because of its policy. In this case, young people are not sinners.

Therefore, the government should exercise more control over the advertising. Also, the government should teach people, especially young generation, to take more responsibility to produce as well as consume. The government should encourage the young generation to take advantages of education and production; moreover, the government should pave the way for better situation for future.

In conclusion, young people are easily affected by advertising; in this matter parents and the government are responsible. Both parents and the government should be aware of further problems.

例四:

Sample task

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

Write a report for a university lecturer describing the information in the graph below.

You should write at least 150 words.

The graph compares the attitude to smoking in men and women in Someland during 1960-2000. It also indicates the difference in smoking habits between two sexes (genders) has reduced over time.

At the beginning of the study in 1960 the number of men who smoked was
greater than that of women; it means that 600 per 1000 people who smoked were men and just fewer than 100 were women. Gradually, the number of female smokers rose to 300 per 1000 until 1975 and afterwards it reached a plateau with only a shallow descending slip down to 2000 when the number of female smokers was only 200 per 1000 smokers. On the other hand, during this period the number of male smokers slopes down in a steady manner from 600 per 1000 in 1960 to 210 to 2000 per 1000 for male smokers.

In short, it is obvious that at first there was less tendent to smoke among

women and there was an upward trend in their tendency. However, in 1975 the trend changed and two genders kept quitting smoking, and in 2000 the number of male and female smokers became equal with just a little more men smoking than women as before.

例五:

Dear Sir/ Madam,

I would like to inform you that there is something wrong with the camera I purchased from your shop through my journey to your town last month, and I am writing to you to make a complaint.

Last month the day after purchasing the camera, I put a roll of 24-exposure film into the camera. I took most photos during the journey. Yesterday after having the photos developed, I found some white spots covered on the surface of all photos. A specialist told me that it is because of a defect in camera. My wife and I regret for memorable pictures we could have.

There is a warranty card in the camera package, which has the reference number "900123" on it as the code. Please notify me whether I should send it to you or to the producer company for warranty service. Therefore, I believe I should somehow be compensated because I have lost so many valuable moments.

I wait for a refund of $300 that I paid for the camera, besides a roll of film.

Yours faithfully,

S. Sajadian

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