雅思写作:解析剑7写作范文

所属专题:雅思写作  来源:沪江留学网    要点:雅思写作范文  
编辑点评: 文中解析了剑桥7中写作范文的基本思路、表达方式和论证方法,指导考生如何写好雅思大作文,从细节入手进行层层论证,帮助考生取得雅思作文的好成绩。

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

×观点比较选择类的题目,题干中有两个观点 :

观点一:先天具备

观点二:后天养成

比较两个观点并且给出自己的看法,则应该给出两个观点的合理之处,比较之后在进行自己的选择表态。

This model has been prepared by an examiner as an example of a very good answer. However, please note that this is just one example out of many possible approaches.

The relative importance of natural talent and training is a frequent topic of discussion when people try to explain different levels of ability in, for example, sport, art or music.(开头段落描述题干所讨论问题的普遍性。开头句式简短,不冗赘,一个复合句搞定。插入语的使用避免了题干的机械性重复,同时保证了句子的连续性)

Obviously, education systems are based on the belief that all children can effectively be taught to acquire different skills, including those associated with sport, art or music.(-ly副词开头主题段落一肯定第一个观点,表示作者本身的态度)(从句和被动语态的使用)So from our own school experience, we can find plenty of evidence to support the view that a child can acquire these skills with continued teaching and guided practice.(模糊例证,支持上一句中的观点。从句的使用。连接词 so 的使用)

However, some people believe that innate talent is what differentiates a person who has been trained to play a sport or an instrument, from those who become good players. (转折词however,承接上文,引出第二个观点的支持论证)(词汇方面,innate, differentiate)(语法方面,完整复合句的使用)In other words, there is more to the skill than a learned technique, and this extra talent cannot be taught, no matter how good the teacher or how frequently a child practices.(对于观点二的支持解释)(连词in other words的使用)

I personally think that some people do have talents that are probably inherited via their genes. (表达自己对观点一的部分支持)(词汇方面, inherit)Such talents can give individuals a facility for certain skills that allow them to excel, while more hard-working students never manage to reach a comparable level.(解释论证,比较反差)(词汇方面,excel, comparable level)(结构方面,连接词 such 的使用)But, as with all questions of nature versus nurture, they are not mutually exclusive. (转折词but引出作者的观点:兼收并取)(词汇方面,nature versus nurture, mutually exclusive)Good musicians or artists and exceptional sports stars have probably succeeded because of both good training and natural talent. (用例证进一步解释“兼收并取”)(词汇,exceptional)Without the natural talent, continuous training would be neither attractive nor productive, and without the training, the child would not learn how to exploit and develop their talent(假设例证支持自己观点。排比双重否定句强调肯定效果).(词汇方面,continuous, exploit)

In conclusion, I agree that any child can be taught particular skills, but to be really good in areas such as music, art or sport, then some natural talent is required.(个人表态支持两个观点的结合。插入语的使用。)

整体结构:

第一段(一句)题干是大家长讨论的话题

第二段(二句)学校相信观点一

例证支持观点一

第三段(二句)转折某些人支持观点二

解释论证观点二

第四段(五句)个人部分同意观点一

解释支持自己的立场

个人更同意兼收并取

解释支持“兼收并取”的立场

假设例证支持自己观点

第五段(一句)个人表态,观点一合理,观点二也合理。

根据雅思写作的评分标准四要素来分析的话:

1. 任务完成度:强调了观点比较选择类两个观点都要提到,并且论点要展开论证。体现了选择类题目可以选其一或两者都选。

2. 文章连贯流利性:强调了文章 总分总和转折段落结构。强调了小连词的使用和ly副词的使用来表达作者态度的流动性

3. 词汇 :复杂词汇的出现并没有很高的要求,且数量较少。重点在于用的“准”而不在于用的“狠” (例如 innate, nature versus nurture, exclusive等)

4. 语法:大都是从句,但是难度并没有很大。而且因为写作内容略过了论证或举例的细节,所以句子都比较general,这样可以避免出现思路太纠结从而导致语法错误。正确率是重点。

作为 very good answer的例子, 这篇范文能够告诉我们的是我们到底需要什么级数的句式和词汇才能够到达7分以上。实例告诉我们:

词不在大,用准则灵

句不在长,流畅则行

共勉

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