2014.8.23 托福独立作文范文+解析

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编辑点评: 2014.8.23托福独立写作范文+解析(侃哥Kevin版),选择了“现在的年轻人比以前更注重改善世界”的话题。写法是“原因挖掘+让步”。用到了时下最流行的“ice bucket challenge”(冰桶挑战)的例子噢,供大家参考。

侃哥(ID:kevinxie1017)

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2014.8.23 托福独立作文范文+解析

侃哥Kevin

【题】Do you agree or disagree with the following statement:Young people today are more likely to invest their time and efforts in improving the world than young people in the past.

题型:对比题+现象证明题;  

论点:让步

角度:原因挖掘

开头:同意现在的年轻人更有可能投入时间和精力去改变这个世界。(话题引入+他人观点+明确立场+过渡)

As fresh blood of the world, young people have always been a driving force to the society with their vigor and aspiration. Sociologists have recently begun to notice that this trend is gaining momentum as a mounting number of young adults are taking part in the improvement of the world. The way I see it, modern juveniles are more zealous than their counterparts in the past when it comes to pitching in to change the world for the better. My reasons and examples are given below. (86 words)

中间段1:互联网使得年轻人接触了解更多,更容易被激励做一些实事。(主题句+说理论证+细节例子)

Firstly, the Internet furnishes young people with information to improve the world and inspires them to be part of it. In the time without the Internet, young people were hardly exposed to what was happening in the world, let alone involved some activities to change the world. Thanks to the Internet, young people are given a better way to understand what needs to be done for the world. For example, the “ALS ice bucket challenge” has triggered an enthusiastic participation among young people through the Internet. Numerous youths share their pictures of doing the ice bucket on twitter and Facebook, which successfully arouses more public awareness of the disease called ALS. (111 words)

中间段2:教育理念的转变使得年轻人更多地思考为世界做一些实事。(主题句+说理论证+细节例子)

Secondly, the transition to the new way of teaching allows young people to think more about what they can do to improve the world. Teachers no longer require their students to focus on academic stuff, but encourage them to be more critical and independent in thinking. Thus, those young people now have more time to think of and carry out what is right for the place they are living. Taking my brother for example, he initiated an activity last year to cleanse the environment by picking up the cigarette ends from the streets. This practice soon gained supports from his classmates as well as students in higher grades. (108 words)

让步段:当然不是说过去的年轻人就没有做一些改变世界的事情,但由于教育方式以及缺少信息媒体,使得他们无法大规模地投入其中。(承认漏洞+补漏)

Admittedly, I am not saying that young people in the past failed to do anything useful for the society. As a matter of fact, good people and good deeds were not uncommon because it is human nature to make things better. However, at that time, young people were requested to study and get high scores in exams, which deprived them of the time and idea to change the world. Plus, the scarcity of information media made it difficult to organize and promote an activity. (84 words)

结尾:重申观点+归纳理由/升华主题

From what has been discussed above, we can draw a conclusion that young people today are more willing and capable to invest their time and efforts in improving the world. The more progress the society gets, the more young people will be awakened to voice their opinion and devote to making the world a better place. (56 words) 

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